Now before we get to far in to this movie I want to talk about the GREAT acting by Alan Bagh he plays the role of Rob and his acting reminds me of a plank of wood because Alan Bagh cannot act.
Ok now the movie start with a boring car ride that takes about 5 minutes and he goes to a cafe to get something to eat and when he gets his menu he see's Nathalie eating and he staires at her for about 30 secondes before it cuts to the next seane and after she is done eating she leave and he stares at the door for about 20 seconds and now we cut out to him running out of the cafe because he thinks he knows her so he runs to her and asks her is she went to blah blah blah high school and she says yes and she askes him how does she know him and he says yah << I was in your english class 2 seats behind you >> I dont understand how he remembers someones face when all he did was look at the back of her head but lets just keep going so she leaves and he stares at her walk away and runs after her again yelling her name I dont understand how Rob knows Nathelie's name when he never talked to her before and when they just did they never sayed what their names are its funny because we dont even know that the guy's name is Rob but shhhhhh you did not hear that from me and asks if they could stay in contact and she gives him her modeling card I think and he give her a card no clue what on the card any of the cards because they dont say. Now we cut to him watching T.V and its talking about dead birds *cough cough cough* Forshadowing and the melting of the poler isecaps and that polerbear are dieing AND WE ARE ONLY 8 MINUTES IN TO THE MOVIE lets just go and talk a little without detail so Nathalie gets a call and now she is going to be the cover girl for Victoria secrets and Rob is playing basketball with his friend and they say its to hot to play and that its strange that its hot during the winter so yes it winter time lets go and play basketball in a short sleave and shorts and now we have a random sceen where some guy shows up and at Robs house and talks about instaling some solier panels for 20,000$ BUT FOR HIM ITS ONLY 19,000$ WOW after that random sceen we got a date with Rob and Nathalie but nothing important goes on during that so lets go to Nathalie talking with her mom and I know I have not been talking alot about the acting but Nathalie's mom's acting is the best thing I've seen since the movie started she just feels like a real person but lets skip ahead now we are at Rob's work and he is at a meeting and the CEO tells them that they are going to get tons of money and thats the 30 minute mark now we are going to skip ahead to something important not anything plot related but we got this strange dance sceen
Ok well blogger does not want to play videos so im just going to post a link here you go https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ui3TeqM1K28
Now we got a sceen where Rob and Nathalie are making out in bed and Nathalie is only wearing a bra and panties and now we get to the good part THE BIRDS and its only 47 minutes in and they wake up to the sound of birds or what ever it sounds like and they freek out and I guess I forgot to mention Rob's friend was also there and he says that he's got a van outside so to defend them selfves he give them coat hangers YES I SAYED COAT HANGERS just before I get to far here have a clip from the movie I like to call it KAMAKAZI BIRDS
here is a link if the video can not play https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMXHb9wcRNE
Now they safely get in to the save and get away and when they are driving they see a dead woman in a car so Rob's friend gives him a pistol no clue why he was that in his car and Rob's friend takes a assault rifle YEP A ASSAULT RIFLE now when looking through the car they hear crying and they find a little girl under the car and they take her in to the van.....not creepy at all but they also hear someone calling for help in the trunk of a other car no clue how a kid can lock himself inside a trunk BUT THEN MORE BIRDS SHOW UP AND THEY SHOOT THEM BECAUSE IT SOOO EASY TO SHOOT A BIRD MID FLIGHT but whatever we just seen birds make plane noise's and explode so later when they stop at a beach and find a guy and he tells them that its GLOBAL WARMING THAT MAKING THE BIRDS MAD so on the way back to the van one of the other people that are with them has to go to the bathroom so Nathalie will cover her when she is going to the bathroom but before she can do that she dies R.I.P. person that I dont care about so Nathalie runs back yelling run and tells Rob's friend that the other girl is dead so being a guy with no character he runs to the body and he looks at her for about 5 seconds and does not say anything and runs back to the van safely and lets go to the next sceen we got some people traped in a bus the gang kills some of the birds and the people get out only to get acid spit on them by the birds. What you dont beleave me well see for yourself also Rob's friend dies but who cares not me
Link if the video does not work
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHEQgjtwrkw
was that great or what now the van is running out of gas so they try and get some im sorry but I can't find any videos on that scene but the man who is selling them gas says that because of the bird attack he is selling 100$ per gallon and Rob says that a ripoff..... but buys it anyways
they buy the gas and leave.
Now when the gang is on their way to where ever they see a man on the side on the road and they ask if he needs help and he askes for gas but Rob says that he need the gas so the man takes out a gun and tell him to give him gas so he does and with the gas in the canester the man is waking away slowly and then BAM a bird swoops down and slits his neck and after that Rob drives away....without the gas I might add now they go to a forest and meet this tree huger guy talks about GLOBAL WARMING and stuff after that they go to a n'other beach and go fishing they get a fish and then they ask the kids if they want them of yah I forgot about them because they have no importantce to the story but they did not want the fish they wanted a happy meal This is very important ok THE KIDS SAYED THEY DONT WANT TO EAT THE SEAFOOD AND THEY DID NOT you will understand one day now the birds attack them for a little blah blah blah then they just leave THE END. IM DONE WITH THIS MOVIE NEVER AGAIN OK I NEED SOME HAPPY MOVIE christmas is happy YES I GOT IT HERE WE GO.
NEXT TIME WE WILL BE TALKING ABOUT SAVING CHRISTMAS AND HERE IS THE TRAILER SEE YOU NEXT TIME.
If the video does not work use the link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5-yA66kaVc
I would have loved to hear about more of these movies. Not enough to mark so far. What do you think about intentionally cheesy movies, like “Kung Fury”?
ReplyDeleteA few issues :
- Only 2/10 posts (1 of which I had to publish myself from your rough drafts)
- At 1400 words, you could have written several shorter reviews of your movies, instead of a massive synopsis (which was very funny btw.)
- Spelling/ grammar issues (ex. Im, fictionnel, dont, « poler isecaps and that polerbear are dieing”, run-ons, etc.)
- You videos DID work, even though you claimed they didn’t.